Tag Archives: two posts in one day!

Okay, NOW you can have your random post.

So, speaking of kitties (see previous post), I saw a kitty get hit by a car on my way to work. It was very upsetting, and the cat ended up in front of my car, so I slammed on my breaks, expecting to have to get out and take the cat home to nurse it back to health. Also, expecting to be rear-ended, because I suh-lammed on my brakes.

But the kitty just gets up and runs to the sidewalk and is looking all “What the fuck, dude?!” (It was a guy in a giant truck who didn’t even slow down when he hit the cat. Bastard. I’m adding this to my list of things that keep you out of heaven.)

So anyway, after this and my own cat getting sick,  I’m wondering: Am I carrying around a bubble of kitty peril wherever I go? Is there a danger zone around me that only affects cats?

Keep me away from your pets, people. I’ve angered the cat-god Bastet and she is wreaking some major havoc.

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How awesome was Futurama last night?!*  Love that show. Yay! It’s back!

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Um, if you guys still aren’t watching So You Think You Can Dance, you are missing out, man. Also, can’t you accept advice from anyone? I’m only trying to help you.

Anyway, here’s another video. Watch it. If you dare….

It’s not scary or anything. I just felt like saying “If you dare…”

But if masks creep you out, um, it might be a little scary.

***

Another thing I like to say for no reason: Any time I say “You’ll see,” I add, “You’ll aaaallll see.” And point at everyone in the room. It’s a great way to take a normal conversation and turn it into an awkward pause.

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So, I believe I mentioned my love of dating shows previously. One of my favorites was Singled Out on MTV. This was back when MTV actually had good stuff on, known as The Daria Epoch. In my opinion dating shows should always be treated as throw-aways, single servings that don’t last an entire season (*ahem* The Bachelor *cough cough*).

Anyway, in watching Singled Out, I developed a major crush on Chris Hardwick, who you may know as the poor man’s Joel McHale. So you can imagine my delight to discover he has a website now, that is specifically for the nerdy set. And they do podcasts. Including one with Adam Savage (of Mythbusters), one with Alison Brie (of Community), and one with the one, the only, the future signer of my underwear, Craig Ferguson. It’s two hours long and awesome, and you can stream it.

Also, there’s language, so if you share an office, maybe keep the volume low.

***

Hmm, what else? Oh! Did you guys see Toy Story 3? Did you cry? Yeah, me too.

Okay, that’ll do it for me. I’m setting a goal of actually reaching my original goal of 3 posts a week next week. Wish me luck!

*Answer: Very.
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I’m a cat lady, okay? Stop judging me.

I know it’s random day, and you’ll get your random post later. But first I have to tell you about what happened to my cat.

So, I mentioned previously that she’s very fat, but that she lost weight since we moved to the new place. Well, apparently that’s bad.

It alllll started when I came back from Oklahoma, and I noticed Kasima’s food bowl looked pretty much the same as before I left. Adam said he hadn’t filled it. So I started to get a little worried, but Kasima seemed pretty normal, so I thought she might’ve been eating off Adam’s plates. Then, a couple days later, she got really lethargic. Her eyes didn’t really seem to focus. She was weak and uncharacteristically cooperative with being picked up. She wouldn’t drink her water, which had also stayed at the same level for a few days.

And – this is something other cat owners will recognize, and the rest of you will think I’m crazy – her meow was different. She normally has sort of a husky Lauren Bacall kind of meow. Now it was more plaintive, like…I don’t know, Miley Cyrus? Anyway, it was different, and I got worried.

So Adam took her to the vet and we were sort of expecting to hear that it was something awful and incurable. But no. It’s fatty liver disease.

See, a cat’s liver is not designed to handle major weight loss because cats were designed to be lean and fit. So, when Kasima lost weight, the body fat went into her liver and just kind of sat there, clogging things up. (This is my understanding after barely skimming the print-out we got from the vet.)

The cure for this is to eat, which cleans out the liver. So we’ve gotten her some new food, which she seems to like, and she’s acting like her old finger-biting, towel-peeing, breath-stealing self. A happy ending!

Also? She weighs 15 pounds. That’s after she lost weight. Fattest cat ever. And apparently there’s no changing that.

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An open letter to all the DJs in America

Dear DJs,

When you play Nickelback during rush hour, you endanger lives.

Stay with me here, because this is important.

Imagine for a second that you have a real job. You go in at 8:00 am and leave at 5:00 pm. You deal with annoying coworkers and bosses and spreadsheets all day. You’re tired. Maybe a little frustrated. Hungry. But now it’s over, and you get to go home. Hooray!

But wait. First you have to sit in traffic for at least half an hour. That’s if it’s not raining, there are no accidents, and some idiot hasn’t decided to threaten suicide from an overpass.

People cut you off, give you the finger, don’t let you in. So you turn on the radio to get your mind off the traffic.

And Nickelback comes on.

How do you think that feels, DJs? Huh?

I can tell you from experience. It sucks. It sucks almost as much as Nickelback itself.

Road rage is a problem. Sure, it doesn’t get as much press as it did in the ’90s. But it’s still an issue. Have you never seen Falling Down? There’s a guy out there right now, teetering on the edge. Do you really want to be the one to nudge him over it?

It seems like DJs are the last people left on earth who still haven’t realized that Nickelback sucks. You are occupying the stupid end of the bell curve. I shouldn’t have to suffer because you are an exceptionally slow learner. If you must play Nickelback (and apparently you must), play it in the middle of the night when no one is listening.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. I look forward to never hearing Nickelback during rush hour again.

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Mindless Prattle

I’m moving this week. To a duplex, which is like the shortstop between an apartment and a house. I’m excited.

The new place will be almost twice as big as what we’re living in now (“we”, for those of you who don’t know me personally, is me, my husband and our obese cat.) It also has really high ceilings. Like 20 feet high. And a small ledge, with a window up next to the ceiling, that I want to turn into a clubhouse with a rope ladder (I’m not sure how our landlord will feel about this).

It also has an actual yard, with a fence and trees and everything! I’m going to try to plant some flowers. My mom has a major green thumb, but I’ve never been able to grow anything. So I might just be setting myself up for failure. Stay tuned.

It has three bedrooms, and two patios, and four closets. Four! I could have a whole closet just for my shoes.

(Sidenote: Did anyone else ever see that movie with Monica Potter and Freddie Prinze Jr, where she moved in with a bunch of models, and her room was really, really small because they’d converted one of the bedrooms into a closet, and she was living in the actual closet? Anyway, ever since I saw that movie, I’ve wanted to have a room-sized closet.

Also, I once knew a girl who really did convert her closet into her bedroom. It was not a large closet. It really only had room for her mattress – a twin-size. And she didn’t use the actual bedroom for a closet. It only had a desk in it. I think she may have been slightly agoraphobic.)

Back to the duplex. It’s awesome, and has lots of awesome features. But it doesn’t have a fridge, so we’ll need to get one of those.

Some other things it doesn’t have: 

  • Upstairs neighbors who seem to make a hobby out of throwing themselves into the walls and floors.
  • Screaming children playing about 18 inches from the bedroom window.
  • Signs posted in the neighborhood warning you to remove all your valuables from your vehicle so they don’t get stolen.

However, I will be leaving behind my beloved garden tub. That’s gonna hurt.

Also! Our move-in day is my super-long work day (Thursday), so Adam will be moving all of our stuff, and I just get to come home to a new place. It’s like magic.

Okay, here’s something I could use some help with: I will now have an abundance of wall space, including the aforementioned wall that’s 20 feet high. I need cheap decorating ideas, and lots of them.

The duplex has a fireplace. Now, we have one of those photos that everyone has from their wedding, where all your friends and family sign the mat. I was thinking of putting it above the mantle, but I’m not sure I want to look at my own face that much. Alternate ideas for above the fireplace?

For the big wall, tell me if you think this is stupid:

I was thinking about getting those old Arthur Murray dance diagrams and mapping one out on the wall. Not exactly sure how I’d go about doing it. I can’t paint it on, but I could use fabric and spray starch to stick it to the wall, or I could use picture frames for bits and pieces of it. Also, I’m having trouble finding the actual diagrams.

And I’ve promised Adam a room all to himself where he can put all of his video game paraphernalia, so I won’t have to worry about that.

Eeeeeeeeee! Yay new home!

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