Tag Archives: quickie

Advice for teenage boys

When you give someone a dutch oven, you are also giving them unsupervised access to your balls.

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…and then the rest of the weekend happened.

As you read yesterday, I had a wonderful Saturday, and I even got to bring home a souvenir. I expected to bask in afterglow for the rest of the weekend, coasting into the week and only realizing that I was at work around Wednesday or so.

But then I found out on Sunday that our car is going to be repossessed.

And then on Monday morning, our neighbor decided to make up for his two months of silence by playing loud bass-y music from 2:30 until around 9:00 am.

I have to tell you, I’ve lost my confidence a little.

I know what your thinking. “You, Lindsay?  I mean, you’re practically a god, how can you lose your confidence?”

And you’re not wrong.

But still. I need some cheering up. I need whatever is the metaphysical equivalent of sitting on the couch, eating ice cream and watching Buffy all day.

Ideas? I fear it’s going to take more than just cute pictures of baby animals to drag me out of this sinkhole of shittiness.

Oh, and also? The internet is being mean to me. It called me creepy for having underwear signed by people.

Stupid internet. Your face is the one who’s creepy.

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Road Trip!

Oh my god, you guys. The universe loves me and wants me to be happy. Or, the universe is setting me up for a mighty fall.

Either way, Chris Hardwick is coming to Austin next weekend. And, as part of the birthday extravaganza, I’ll be going down to see him. Woo! (Anyone want to come along?)

So, of course, I’ll be asking him to sign my underwear.

And this brings me to my dilemma:

Should I pick out a new pair of underwear for him to sign, or should I have him sign the Mitch Hedberg underwear? Thoughts?

What about you, Chris Hardwick? Thoughts?

(Please note that any underwear handled by Chris Hardwick will be clean and not being worn by me at the time.)

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Busy week = short post

Guys.

I’m really sick of the phrase “well played.”

Anyone with me on this? It’s everywhere. Commercials, tv shows, podcasts, fabulous amazing wonderful stupendous blogs that I follow religiously (click).

Every time I hear it (or read it, though to a lesser extent), I twitch. And I don’t need yet another thing making me look weird in public. I have so many weird things already.

You know what phrase I don’t hear enough of? “Like a bird in a whale’s mouth.” That project went nowhere.

(I’m sort of hoping that it’s actually caught on in some little niche group halfway around the world, and it will pop up on some soft news story about the new trends in, like, Tokyo or somewhere. )

But in my heart I know the truth. “Like a bird in a whale’s mouth” is dead.

Unless you people revive it. Think of it as an early birthday present.

Because my birthday is this month. If you didn’t know.

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Monday Drive-By

Just stopping by to give you some entertainment tips for the week.

First, Wonder Boys and Happy Accidents are available for streaming on Netflix.

Now, obviously, you’ve all seen Wonder Boys. Right?

Good. Let’s move on to Happy Accidents, which I don’t want to tell you much about because it might spoil you. But here are a couple of things to get you interested:

  • It stars Marisa Tomei and Vincent D’Onofrio.
  • It’s a romantic comedy, but actually good.
  • Anthony Michael Hall has a cameo.

If those three items don’t convince you to watch it, then I don’t think we can be friends.

Second, and I can’t believe I haven’t talked about this on here before, why aren’t you all completely in love with Garfunkel & Oates? (If you are already in love with them, good for you, your work is done…after you watch Happy Accidents. Then your work will be done.)

Here, have a tiny slice of heaven:

There. Now you have stuff to watch this week.

You’re welcome.

(By the way, I’m doing a tremendous job of incorporating video and pictures into my posts. I’m so proud of me.)

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A haiku inspired by my morning commute.

Brave armadillo

Hiding in your hard, tough shell

No match for a car

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You can thank me later. Or right now. It’s whatever.

I’m just stopping by for a quick post today, but I had to get this out into the world right away.

I know I’m late to the game on this, but I just want to make sure you’re all watching Louie on FX. I’ve been DVRing it and I finally watched the first two episodes last night.

Oh my god.

You need to be watching this show.

Watch this scene and tell me where else on television you’d see a scene like it.

Louie is like Men of a Certain Age‘s weird cousin.

Oh, you should also be watching Men of a Certain Age.

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