Tag Archives: Nickelback sucks

An open letter to all the DJs in America

Dear DJs,

When you play Nickelback during rush hour, you endanger lives.

Stay with me here, because this is important.

Imagine for a second that you have a real job. You go in at 8:00 am and leave at 5:00 pm. You deal with annoying coworkers and bosses and spreadsheets all day. You’re tired. Maybe a little frustrated. Hungry. But now it’s over, and you get to go home. Hooray!

But wait. First you have to sit in traffic for at least half an hour. That’s if it’s not raining, there are no accidents, and some idiot hasn’t decided to threaten suicide from an overpass.

People cut you off, give you the finger, don’t let you in. So you turn on the radio to get your mind off the traffic.

And Nickelback comes on.

How do you think that feels, DJs? Huh?

I can tell you from experience. It sucks. It sucks almost as much as Nickelback itself.

Road rage is a problem. Sure, it doesn’t get as much press as it did in the ’90s. But it’s still an issue. Have you never seen Falling Down? There’s a guy out there right now,┬áteetering on the edge. Do you really want to be the one to nudge him over it?

It seems like DJs are the last people left on earth who still haven’t realized that Nickelback sucks. You are occupying the stupid end of the bell curve. I shouldn’t have to suffer because you are an exceptionally slow learner. If you must play Nickelback (and apparently you must), play it in the middle of the night when no one is listening.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. I look forward to never hearing Nickelback during rush hour again.

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