Tag Archives: my cat

After humans go extinct, the ants will rise up and take our place.

I’ve been seeing ants everywhere I go. I realize that this is partially because it’s summer in Texas. But still. They’re outside. They’re inside. In the bathroom at work. In my car. In my shower. I’m either Queen (or Empress) of the Ants, or I’m just hallucinating.


I’m going clothes shopping this weekend! So expect this to be the last time you hear (read) me complaining about how my pants don’t fit. Except today I’m actually wearing pants that fit. So last time was the last time.


Kasima has had a complete recovery. You know how I can tell? It’s not the fact that she’s eating and pooping again. It’s the fact that she attacked Adam when he tried to pet her. She’s back!


Kasima bit Adam on the butt once. It was awesome. And it was at my command, which was even better. She’s such a good kitty.


I predict that, for whatever reason, this is the post that makes Adam regret encouraging me to start a blog.


Let’s see…normally I link to some stuff on Fridays. I suppose I could admonish you again for not watching So You Think You Can Dance.

This one might need a little back story for you to fully appreciate it. See, the asian dude in this clip is a ballet dancer. He doesn’t do anything that’s not graceful. No one expected him to be this good at hip hop. Enjoy!


By the way, you should be reading the NPR pop-culture blog, Monkey See. I go there at least twice a day. Very entertaining. Plus, they like all the stuff I like. We should be best friends.

And it’s NPR, so you can still feel smart and socially responsible, even though you’re reading about tv and movies and stuff.


I don’t think I’m the only one who has breathed a huge sigh of relief that the new Futurama episodes are just as great as the old stuff. Don’t get me wrong. I have tremendous faith in the makers of Futurama – who I know all the names of, because I am a watcher of dvd commentaries – but I was a little nervous. Last week’s episodes got rid of most of that nervousness, and last night’s episode put it to rest permanently.

Ahhhhhh. That’s a weight off my shoulders.


Julia Roberts was in my dream last night. We were foiling some scam at a college by posing as students. I think I blended in a lot better than she did.

I don’t remember a lot about the dream. Except that there was this smarmy guy who kept hitting on me, and I kept having to re-explain to him that I’m married.

See, Adam? Even in my dreams I’m faithful to you. I am a fantastic wife.



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The Crappy Apartment Saga Pt. 1

Part One:

When my husband and I first got an apartment together, our sole criteria was cost. How cheap is the rent? Cheap? Okay, when can we move in?

(Actually, that’s not entirely true. It was: how cheap is the rent, and how lenient are you on the credit check? We’re not out there writing hot checks or anything, we just didn’t really have any credit then.)

So, we found a place that was pretty cheap and accepted our credit. It was a third floor apartment, which is good for keeping in shape, but sucks when you come home from a 13-hour shift waiting tables and then have to climb 2 flights of stairs to get to your bed.

This first place was not in the best of neighborhoods, and, a side-effect of them accepting people with crappy credit, anyone could get in. We didn’t have a lot of trouble with our neighbors at first, but after a while we noticed that our next door neighbor had at least three dogs. Big ones. And he left them alone all day. Every day.

They did not suffer silently. So there was barking all day.

And then we noticed an odor. I guess he wasn’t home often enough to take them out for walks. So now it’s loud and stinky.

And apparently they’re all infested with fleas. Which meant our cat was suddenly infested with fleas. Awesome.

We just kind of trudged along, accepting our crappy-neighbor-having fate, until one day, we came home to find Animal Control there. They were taking his dogs away. I guess he’d been away too long. And those dogs were huge. And hungry. And sad. It was like an ASPCA commercial.

We were pleased that suddenly our living situation had gotten much better…until it got much, much worse.

The apartment complex had big ideas about attracting a better class of resident, so they started improving things all over the complex. This meant construction. Which would have been inconvenient but not life-altering, except for one thing. I mentioned the 13-hour serving shifts I worked then? Yeah, those ended at about 1:30 in the morning. So I would go home, take a bath, eat dinner, unwind, and be in bed by about 3:30 am, knowing that I’d have to be back at work at 10:00 am.

But at 6:30, construction would start. And they started with the roof. And we lived on the top floor. So it sucked.

Then we came home one night to find a notice on the door from the apartment management saying they assumed we’d heard about the shooting, so if we had any information, please call the police. That sucked more.

Then one morning I went out to find my car’s passenger window shattered, but still intact (which was actually pretty impressive.) We weren’t sure whether it was an attempted break-in or a bullet, but either way…that sucked the most.

So we decided to move.

Stay tuned for Part Two tomorrow!


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I’m a cat lady, okay? Stop judging me.

I know it’s random day, and you’ll get your random post later. But first I have to tell you about what happened to my cat.

So, I mentioned previously that she’s very fat, but that she lost weight since we moved to the new place. Well, apparently that’s bad.

It alllll started when I came back from Oklahoma, and I noticed Kasima’s food bowl looked pretty much the same as before I left. Adam said he hadn’t filled it. So I started to get a little worried, but Kasima seemed pretty normal, so I thought she might’ve been eating off Adam’s plates. Then, a couple days later, she got really lethargic. Her eyes didn’t really seem to focus. She was weak and uncharacteristically cooperative with being picked up. She wouldn’t drink her water, which had also stayed at the same level for a few days.

And – this is something other cat owners will recognize, and the rest of you will think I’m crazy – her meow was different. She normally has sort of a husky Lauren Bacall kind of meow. Now it was more plaintive, like…I don’t know, Miley Cyrus? Anyway, it was different, and I got worried.

So Adam took her to the vet and we were sort of expecting to hear that it was something awful and incurable. But no. It’s fatty liver disease.

See, a cat’s liver is not designed to handle major weight loss because cats were designed to be lean and fit. So, when Kasima lost weight, the body fat went into her liver and just kind of sat there, clogging things up. (This is my understanding after barely skimming the print-out we got from the vet.)

The cure for this is to eat, which cleans out the liver. So we’ve gotten her some new food, which she seems to like, and she’s acting like her old finger-biting, towel-peeing, breath-stealing self. A happy ending!

Also? She weighs 15 pounds. That’s after she lost weight. Fattest cat ever. And apparently there’s no changing that.

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Hi! It’s Friday! The time when all my random thoughts come out to play, like fairies that come out to play when you turn on the sprinkler. Maybe that’s just in my yard.

I’m in kind of a weird mood today. Restless. Shifty. Giddy. Slightly chilly. No particular reason, other than it’s Friday. And I left the air conditioner on too low at my office last night.

So, anyway. Random:


I’m following almost the whole cast of Community on twitter now, as well as the creator, Dan Harmon. I find him very entertaining. Check it out.


So You Think You Can Dance is back on! I love to watch pretty people dancing. That’s why I own Center Stage on dvd. But seriously, you should watch this show. It’s amazing. Watch this clip and see if your heart doesn’t try to float away like a balloon. (Skip to 0:47 or so to just see the dancing.)


I saw Splice. It was weird. And not in a cool way. And not in a mind-fuck-maybe-if-I-dropped-acid-and-watched-it-again-I’d-appreciate-it way. I’d almost put it in the so-bad-it’s-good category, except it invaded my dreams and now I’m angry at it.

Sarah Polley and Adrian Brody, you are so much better than this. Why?


My cat has decided that when the alarm goes off in the morning, it’s time for her to sit on my chest. If she were normal-sized this wouldn’t be a huge problem. But she’s very, very fat* and it causes me great physical discomfort. As well as little paw-shaped bruises all over my torso. Try explaining that to a doctor.

I can’t decide if she’s trying to keep me at home or if she’s trying to steal my breath. Could be both.

*She’s lost weight since we moved into the bigger place. It’s got me wondering – is she the opposite of a goldfish? Does she expand when we put her in smaller areas, only to get smaller when she’s in a larger area? It might just be that now it’s more of a walk from the bed to the couch.


Adam and I have been DVRing Jeopardy and watching it when I get home every night. This is nice, because it gives me a way to track how much dumber I get each day.

Well, each weekday.


I’m going on a business trip next week! I’m like a grown up.

A question for the 5 people who read this: Should I take the faster route or the prettier route?


I got my 100th comment the other day! But it was from my husband, which is like writing a play and then getting a rave review from your mother. (Which has happened to me.)

So anywho, comment away, people I’m not related to. Let me know you’re out there.


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Some updates and addendums

RE: Tight-fitting pants:

I’ve decided I’m going to lose some weight. This was brought on by a doctor’s visit where they actually said my weight out loud where people could hear. Rude.

So, my method of weight-loss is actually pretty simple, and it’s worked for me any time I needed to be a different size than what I currently am/was (this includes both weight gain and weight loss). I get rid of all the too-small clothes and spend a little money to buy clothes that fit me. As soon as I no longer have the smaller clothes and I’ve actually shelled out money for new ones, I’ll magically lose the weight because apparently my body is morally opposed to wearing clothes that fit.

This is similar to the method I use to find a lost pair of sunglasses. I buy a new pair, and I invariably find the lost pair the same day, sometimes while the tag is still on the new pair.

Also, I’m going to start riding my bike around my adorable new neighborhood.


RE: Names I call my cat:

I forgot to add “Purr Factory.” She assembles and distributes purrs.


RE: Celebrities I want to have sign my underwear:

I’m adding Donald Glover to that list. I just adore him. And someone I forgot: Carrie Fisher.


RE: Dreams I have when watching a lot of a particular show:

Once we get a new modem that does wired and wireless internet simultaneously, I will be able to resume watching Arrested Development on Netflix via the PS3. I’m really looking forward to this, because it gives me Jason Bateman dreams. Mmmmmm, Jason Bateman.

By the way, I’m watching Arrested Development for the first time. I never watched it when it originally came on, and I cannot remember why. I mean, not only does it have Jason Bateman, it also has Jeffrey Tambor, Portia de Rossi (Oh, Better Off Ted, how I miss you), and David Cross. And it’s that quirky kind of comedy that I always like.  And it’s got Alia Shawkat, who, though I couldn’t have known this at the time, I would fall in love with years later when I watched Whip It. Seriously, if someone was creating a television show as a gift to me, it would be Arrested Development.


I think that’s all the updates for now. Remind me to tell you about my doctor’s visit later. Here’s a teaser for you: it involves a fairly detailed description of my butt.

And I’ll leave you with that thought.


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So random that I posted it on a different day.

Random stuff about my new house and neighborhood:

My cat has burrowed deep under the covers on the bed and will not come out. I think it’s half terror at her new surroundings and half knowledge that we haven’t paid a pet deposit yet. Smart kitty.

There are trees here! Everywhere! I like trees.

The Schwan’s man comes to this neighborhood! You have no idea how truly happy this makes me. They have these little fudge swirl ice cream cups that are the most amazing thing you will ever put in your mouth. Yes, even better than that.

I have a back yard. And a front yard. But no lawn mower, and the grass needs cutting, so I could use some help in that department. Hint hint.

We still don’t have a real refrigerator. Our friend Daniel gave us a tiny little mini fridge to hold us over. It’s big enough to hold some cheese and an iced tea pitcher. Iced tea is a food group to me, so this is a huge help.

I just used three words that mean exactly the same thing to describe our temporary fridge. Huh.

I desperately need a shoe rack, because my shoes take up the entire floor of my closet, and I’m not getting rid of any. In fact, I’ve joined a Shoe of the Month club, so I’ll probably be adding to the problem very soon.

I haven’t had to turn on the air conditioner yet. This bodes well for my summer electric bills. But it’s actually been chilly inside the house a couple of times this weekend. This does not bode well for the winter electric bill.

But! We have a fireplace! That should help.

Are you allowed to make s’mores in a fireplace? Or hot dogs? I’m now planning a camp out themed party this winter. BYO sleeping bags and hot dog-cooking sticks.

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