Tag Archives: jokes

If I were Chris Hardwick, I’d click this link.

So, if you haven’t visited the site in a while, where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick.

Anyway, you missed a lot.

Most notably, Chris Hardwick visited my site (please note my measured, articulate response). Yeah, I’m pretty fucking¬†impossible to live with right now.

Whereas most sane people would see the culmination of their internet campaigns as a victory and just move on, I’m going to keep plugging away.

What does that mean exactly? I’m not really sure.

For now, all it means is that I’m going to continue to (try to) lure Chris Hardwick over here until he’s a semi-regular commenter.

So, for you, Chris Hardwick, I’ve added a tag called Hardwick Bait. I promise not to tag every single post as Hardwick bait. Just stuff I think you might be interested in. And by the way, if you’re searching for a term to describe me to the authorities, I prefer “nerdist enthusiast” over “blog stalker.”

In other news, I went to my very first filming of a scene I wrote today. I was the sound guy. Or, more accurately, the pole holder. But it did open up the opportunity for a nice vaudevillian joke – ¬†“I’ve been holding a boom for two hours and boy are my arms tired.”

Anyway, once the scene is cut together, I’ll be posting it here, of course. I couldn’t keep my real writing from my twelve loyal blog readers (Thirteen if you count Chris Hardwick. (At least. (Yes, this is a parenthetical inside a parenthetical inside a parenthetical. (I’m probably doing this because I went to see Inception last night. (It involves dreams-within-dreams. (It was really good. (What was I talking about?))))))).

As my friend Bethany said, it looks like the universe felt it owed me for the crappy week it gave me. Yes, I will be telling you that story at some point.

Also, you should all click on those Chris Hardwick links. They’re mostly to the Nerdist Podcasts, and there’s nary a person I wouldn’t ask to sign my underwear.


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Laughter is the best medicine. But not in social situations. There, it’s more like the treatments on “House” that might work or might kill you.

I laugh a lot. I giggle, chuckle, throw my head back and erupt laughter. Life is funny. People are funny. But people don’t want you to think they’re funny. Unless they’re trying to be funny, which is usually not as funny as someone not trying to be funny.

So, in all my years of laughing a lot, I’ve discovered that if you laugh at someone who was being unintentionally funny, you need an excuse. They’ll turn around and say, “Are you laughing at me?” And you have to say, “No, I was laughing at a joke I heard earlier.” But then they ask, “Oh, what joke?” And you have to come up with a joke on the spot. So I keep one locked and loaded, ready to be used whenever I need it. It goes like this:

Q: What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

A: Nothing, they’re stuck up bitches.

Feel free to use it when you’re laughing at someone who’s just accidentally done something funny.

Anyone else have their own stock jokes for these situations?

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