Tag Archives: accidental puns

One week til my birthday!

This morning all my properly-fitting pants were dirty, so, rather than going pantsless, I’m wearing a pair of less-properly-fitting pants.

Then, in a stroke of genius, instead of using the pants buttons god gave me, I used a paper clip to join the inner and outer buttonholes, bestowing my pants with just the right amount of give.

Of course, I discovered the Achilles heel in this solution when I went to the bathroom and had to negotiate removing a paper clip from two buttonholes while also doing the pee pee dance.

I was able to accomplish this with minimal injury. So, victory!

***

I must confess, I just don’t have a lot to tell you on this random friday. My mind is pretty much living in tomorrow. Hair will be dyed, panties will be signed. Oil will be changed. And we’ll probably grab something to eat at some point too.

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I’m starting this new thing. You’re all familiar with the witty (or “witty”) comeback that consists of inserting “your face” into whatever insult was just thrown at you, yes? (i.e. “Your face is a stupid whore that slept with my boyfriend in the backseat of my car.”)

Well, I’m starting a new thing where I use the “your face” comeback for compliments and neutral statements as well.

“Your face looks nice today.”

“Your face was great in that play.”

“Your face is hungry.”

***

I want to see this movie:

I love Mila Kunis. And Natalie Portman, of course. But seriously. Mila Kunis.

***

Also this one:

I’m a sucker for alien invasion movies.

No pun intended?

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