A snow-related question.

Dear Empress of Real Advice,
Why are Texans bad drivers?
I find myself constantly yelling at drivers and this weeks epidemic has made matters worse. What on earth compels people to drive like monkeys on LSD?

– Expert on Drug Use in Animals

This is a complex issue. My first instinct is to say, it’s probably way more fun to drive like a monkey on LSD than it is to drive like a normal person. But upon further consideration, a paranoia-inducing drug in an animal that lacks the capacity for complex abstract thought is probably not all that fun.

But it does bring up an interesting idea: paranoia. Maybe the drivers know that you’re saying awful things about them behind their backs, and it’s affecting their driving.

Perhaps you should give the drivers the benefit of the doubt. If you assume every other person is racing to the hospital because they just heard that their wife is in labor, worries about bad road etiquette take a back seat to concerns about overpopulation.

Also, why are all these women going into labor at the same time? There’s a bigger conspiracy at play here.


Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s