I wore a dress to work today. It’s dress day.
However, a complication has arisen.
When I put the dress on this morning, I had trouble zipping it. Now, before we even go down this path, let me say that this dress fits me just fine. It’s not tight at all. There’s no reason that I shouldn’t be able to zip it easily, even though it’s an under-the-armpit zipper, which tends to throw me. But still the zipper was giving me trouble, like it was mocking me. “Hey, look, fatty can’t zip up her own dress.”
Shut up, stupid dress.
So anyway, I had to get my husband to zip it.
So I get to work, sit down and feel a slight chill on my rib cage. I look down and see a patch of skin.
I’m thinking, did he not zip it all the way? So I feel around for the zipper. As I’m feeling, the zipper opens up more and more, until it’s completely open. It’s at this point that I realize the fastener part of the zipper is at the top. The zipper is broken.
I have no recourse. No safety pins, no change of clothes. Adam has the car today, so I can’t even go home to change.
So, here I sit, with my dress unzipped. Exposed. Vulnerable.
I really hope my boss doesn’t come by today.
Things that people have searched for on google that brought them to this blog:
- David Duchovny
- Natalie Portman panties
- “panties with band on the side”
- Grateful Dead panties
- laughed pee panties
- Chris Hardwick hair
- dyed pubic hair
This blog is your source for nerdy comedians and all things ladyparts. And David Duchovny.
Why haven’t you been listening to the Pop Culture Happy Hour on NPR?
Here, go now.
Need a teaser quote to get you interested? How about this:
“It’s like a giant iceberg of gay. And my backyard is drier because of it. A gayberg.”
Speaking of links you need to click:
Do you like socks? Tights? Leg warmers? All three?
Go here. And buy me something while you’re there.
I like the really tall socks that go all the way up to my thighs.
I was introduced to this band by a facebook friend.
I’m obsessed with them now. You should be, too.
That’s it for me today. What random stuff is on your mind?
We can’t be friends if you won’t open up to me.