The Bookstore Game

So, when I’m bored in a bookstore (Bored in a bookstore? How? Look around you!), I have a little game I like to play.

I take books from one section and place them in another section. Not at random, and not en masse. The goal of the game is to introduce someone to a book that they’ll like, but that they might not have sought out on their own.

So, you might move Catch-22 to the World War II History section. Or you might move Jane Austen to the Romance section. You might put Stiff in the mystery or horror sections. Be creative.

However, this is not license to move all the bibles to the fiction section. I get what you’re saying, and ha ha aren’t you clever and all that, but come on. All you’re doing is annoying a bunch of christians. And really, if you have to go out of your way to annoy christians, I don’t think you’re living a full life. You’re in a bookstore. Read some books, get some ideas, and go try them out. You’re sure to annoy a whole mess of christians.

And another thing. If you’re in the opposite camp – the “bibles should be moved to the nonfiction section” camp – I don’t think you should move the bible to the section you feel could benefit from it the most. This game is decidedly nonjudgmental. And, even if you don’t mean it that way, suggesting that someone read the bible is going to come off as judgmental. This is why I have a standing policy on facebook that if you suggest I read the bible, you will find yourself defriended.

What you’re saying to someone when you suggest they read the bible is:

“Not only do you have some character issues that I think could be resolved by this book, but I’m pretty sure you’re so thick – or willfully ignorant – that you’ve managed to overlook every single highway sign, commercial, religious tract under your windshield wiper, well-meaning family member, elementary school friend, crazy person on the street, thinlyveiled film depiction of Christ, and all of Fox News for the entirety of your life. You’re stupid and evil. Read this book.”

It’s amazing that a person might find that insulting.

So, what I’m suggesting to you is that you take the book that you’re wanting to associate with the bible and move it to the bible section. Now everyone’s mind has been opened to the possible connection between Dead Until Dark and the Lord.

A note to bookstore employees: I’m sorry. I know this causes more work for you. But it’s for the greater good. Also, you’re lucky you have a job, because I keep reading that print is dead.

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1 Comment

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One response to “The Bookstore Game

  1. Elizabeth Hunter

    I suggest you read the bible.

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