This post has homework at the end. Aren’t you excited?

My love for Alfred Hitchcock has been reignited. Did you guys know that you can watch episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents on Hulu? Now you do.

I loved Alfred Hitchcock when I was a kid. But I watched The Birds far too young, and now I’m traumatized. I hate birds. They scare the shit out of me. If there are birds milling around a parking lot between me and my destination, I will go far, far out of my way to avoid them. If I’m sitting in my car eating lunch with the windows down, if a bird shows up, I roll the windows up, just in case. And I love eating lunch with the windows down. So now, not only do I fear birds, I also resent them. Stupid birds, with their dead eyes and pointy beaks and talons.

Anyway, I’ve decided I’m going to watch all of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, and as many of his movies as I can find. Just think of the dreams that will inspire. Can’t wait!

***

I just learned that I have a three-day weekend, so I’m a little over-eager to leave. As if I don’t already have trouble concentrating on Friday.

Memorial Day weekend and me without a barbecue grill. Or a fridge. Yes, still. The good news is: Memorial Day Weekend Sale at Sears!

***

Speaking of…stuff that’s tenuously related to Alfred Hitchcock Presents…I also love The Twilight Zone. Which, I know, who doesn’t, right? But I was addicted to all those kinds of shows when I was a kid. And the late 80s/Early 90s was a good time for that particular addiction. There was the new version of The Twilight Zone, Tales from the Darkside, Tales from the Crypt, and this show called Monsters, that you may remember because of the cyclops family in the opening credits.

Yes, I also used to read the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark series. I told you, I was an addict.

***

I was looking at the “state animals” for all 50 states the other day. Some observations:

  • No less than ten states have, as (one of) their state mammals, white-tailed deer. Ten states. I think that means that the white-tailed deer should be our federal mammal. Or that those states should be a little more creative. Whichever.
  • A lot of states have more than one state animal. Leading the pack with 4 state animals (not including birds): Massachusetts, Wisconsin and, of course, Texas.
  • You think moose as a state animal is exclusive to Alaska? Nope, Maine has it, too.
  • Several states have a state cat. I understand Maine (Maine Coon Cat, named after their state) But Tabby and Calico? Come on, Massachusetts and Maryland, respectively. Really?
  • Delaware’s state animals are: Horseshoe Crab (State Marine Animal), Blue Hen Chicken (State Bird), and Weakfish (state fish). Okay, first of all, you have a state fish. And it’s called the weakfish. But beyond that, these are so boring. Surely there is some interesting wildlife in your state. Try a little harder. Do you see why everyone forgets you when they’re naming all 50 states?
  • Texas, of course, has 2 of the coolest animals: Longhorn and 9-banded Armadillo. Not just the regular kind of Armadillo. This one has nine bands.
  • South Dakota’s state animal is the Coyote. I think you should really ask yourself, “What kind of image am I projecting to the other states with my state animal?” You have to dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
  • Maryland has a state horse, a state dog and a state cat. State hobby? Tennis at the country club.
  • The best state animal, however, belongs to New Jersey: Horse. Just horse. Not a particular kind. Just all the horses.

***

I think that’ll do it for me today.

As for you guys: Do something random today. You’re sure to brighten someone’s day. Maybe even your own.

Also, if your random act should result in an embarrassing story, please share in the comments.

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1 Comment

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One response to “This post has homework at the end. Aren’t you excited?

  1. adam

    I believe South Dakota was shooting for a “oooh look, we’re kinda dangerous and mysterious” thing with the coyote. But lets face it, we all know you are just South Dakota. Lame, weakfish south dakota.

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